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Friday, December 30, 2011

My Friday Fancies


It's Friday Fancies time!
This week is all about my look on New Years.
Of course I had to have some sparkle into my look.
Here is what I came up with...

New Years



What are ya'lls plans for New Years?

We still are not 100% sure what we are doing yet.
Either a roof top party or just a nice dinner out.
We have a babysitter so we might as well hit the town right?
Except the next day is always miserable.
Our sweet little babes dont seem to get the memo that Mommy and Daddy went out and got shit faced the right before.
Oh well, its only one day of misery.
I can pull through...I seemed to mange in college.


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Oh How Pinterest-ing {Link Up}

google
 
I love Wednesdays.
Not just because its hump day but because of The Vintage Apple's Link Up.
A great excuse to get my Pinterest on.
 
Here is what I am loving this week...
 
 


I must have this skirt.
Its from Sabo Skirt and can be found here
Would this not be the perfect spring or party skirts?


This about sums me up.


Oh lala.
I love the winter white look here.
Simple yet classic.

Yep, this one too.


Now, I love these nails I just dont think I would have the patience for the glitter.
Anyone have any tips how to make this easier?


I might frame this and put it in my cubicle at work.
Offensive??
I think not.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Merry Christmas From C


Merry Belated Christmas!

Guess what we got to do?!
Stay home on Christmas. This is a huge deal!
 Ya know that movie 4 Christmas's?
 Yeah, that's us.
And I prefer to be called Reese too, thank ya very much. I have been told I look like her ya know. Ha I wish!
Anyways,
But yes, our lives are normally miserable crazy on Christmas day.
Again, remember 4 Christmas's.
Normally after we get back to our house we all crash because we are so tired from doing the "to do" at every house we go to.
That gets tiring.
I know Christmas is time to be with the family, but really?
This year we tried to scale it down a bit. I think it worked out perfectly.  The E's have started their own traditions and I couldn't he happier about it.

Next year my family and my husband's family will all be in one city at the same time. And you know what? We must might have everyone over at the same time to do it all in one big ha-rah! So brace yourself. Seriously, brace yourself. I am sure some good stories will come out of this, as always....

 

Friday, December 23, 2011

My Friday Fancies

It's Friday!
And you know what that means?!
Well, yeah it is one day closer to Christmas...
But, it's My Friday Fancies!!


I am linking up with Long Distance Loving today.
This outfit is my take on Winter White.
I love a beautiful winter white.
It's so creamy and luxurious looking.
Here is what I came up with...
Winter White




I can't even pick my favorite piece here as I just love 'em all.
This jacket is so gorgeous, cozy, and wintery looking.
And the shoes. Ugh. I want!
Hello Valentino!
I have a thing for accessories so this necklace is really getting me.
I would love to have that girl in my stocking for Christmas.

So, what is your idea of winter white?
Do you yourself indulge in winter white for the holidays?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Oh How Pinterest-ing {Link Up}

Today I am of course linking up with The Vintage Apple for...
 
google
this is one of my fav link ups.
This week I have chosen a few fashion drawings I am loving.
 
There is something about a fashion drawing that I just love.
I would love to have a giant closet filled with just clothes, shoes, accessories and wall to wall framed fashion drawings.
A girl can dream right?
 
 

I find Ashley Brooke's creations so fun and creative.

This is her taken on Eva Longoria.
Beautiful huh?!



Or how about my girl LC.
If I could have any celebrity hair I think I want hers.
How does she get it to look so dang amazing every single time?
I just don't get it.
I want.

Or how about some Brittany Fuson.

She takes runway looks and makes drawings out of them and makes them her own.

All of her stuff is so adorable and with a bit of a fun girl whim.


Her maternity line is so cute you should check that out too.


This pic is neither Ashley Brooke nor Brittany Fuson but I just love it.
The business woman on the go.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I'm A Burrito Lovah!


Warning! Warning! Very Vulgar Language Ahead!
But you will be sure to Laugh your butt off.
Article from Luckyshirt

Dear guy who just made my burrito:
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.
And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE: To everyone who keeps saying “WHOEVER WROTE THIS THANK YOU”
You’re welcome.
And to everyone compelled to say “FIRST WORLD PROBLEM CALM THE FUCK DOWN ITS A BURRITO BITCH UR A FAG WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD”:
That’s the joke.
-luckyshirt

Monday, December 19, 2011

People I Want to Punch In The Throat {Elf On The Shelf Style}

All images via Pinterest

My mom actually sent me this article and I thought it was hilarious!
Enjoy as I can imagine most of you relate.

By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf.  Almost everyone I know has one.  Some people even have two!  (Now I'm having guilt for not having two, because apparently I need two because when my kids are adults they'll each want one from their childhood.  Ugh.  Not looking forward to that conversation with the Hubs when I tell him why we need another Elf.)

The Elf is a handy little thing to have.  The little bastard keeps my children in check this time of year.  When there is even a HINT of rebellion all I have to do is say, "Elf" and they snap back in line.

If he's so good, Jen, then why did you call him a bastard? you ask.  I called him a bastard, because even though my children think he's magic, I'm the one doing all the "magic" and I totally suck at it.  I forget to move him all the time and when I forget I have to spin even MORE lies than usual.  ("No, Santa can't give you the $400 Lego Death Star.  Even though he says he makes everything, he can't make Legos and he has to actually go and buy them and he can't spend that much money on you." or "Well, I don't know why he gave it to your friend last year for Christmas.  I'm sure his mommy and daddy paid Santa to do that and we don't pay Santa."  Thanks a lot, asshole parents who gave their kid the Death Star from Santa!  As parents, let's all make a pact that any gift over $200 comes from grandma and grandpa rather than Santa, OK?  It would make my life a lot easier.)

But back to our Elf.  Our Elf has been a lazy SOB this year.  He usually makes his first appearance Thanksgiving night (I get him out when I'm on my way out at 3 AM for Black Friday).  This year we left town and I forgot.  He waited until we came back and then he was ready join our family.  Since then he's only gone away 4 maybe 5 times.  We are always forgetting to move him.  And it should not be difficult.  I am literally moving him from the top shelf in my kitchen to the bottom shelf and back again.  I'm such a loser that I can't even do that right.

I heard some over achieving moms talking one day about how they like to make their Elf do "naughty" things. What exactly does that mean? I asked.  "Oh, you know, he bakes cookies in the night and leaves a huge mess for me to clean up in the morning."  WTF???  "Yes, or one time last year, he took all the ornaments off our tree!  Teeheeehee."

Teeheehee?!!  Why in the world would I make my Elf do something like that?  I'm the one who has to clean up his mess and redecorate my tree!  All so my kid could ooh and ahh over the magic of the Elf for about 3 minutes until the next shiny object caught their eye?  I decided these women were insane.

But then I started listening closer and realized they are not alone.  There are entire blogs out there right now dedicated to naughty/fun Elf behavior.  People like this lady here at Blossom Bunkhouse.  I read her blog and I got really pissed off.  I should have known she'd irritate me when I read her perky-mom-who-loves-to-make-amazing-homemade-memories-with-her-kids-when-she's-not-secretly-downing-Valium-and-Vodka-so-she-can-be-so-damn-perky-and-fun title for her blog.  (In case you haven't guessed, I'm proudly un-medicated and I have the mood swings to prove it.)

Blossom has 101 Fun Ideas to do with your Elf.  ONE HUNDRED AND ONE.  As a friend pointed out, there are only 25 days until Christmas - why 101?!!

I wanted to punch her as soon as I read her top 2:

1.  Have a marshmallow fight (marshmallows everywhere).
2.  Have a pillow fight (feathers everywhere).

OK, seriously?  Does she have a clue how much a feather pillow costs?  The hell I'm going to destroy it just so I can sweep it up again in the morning!

Or like I have time, desire or resources to make this red carpet entrance for a doll.  I can barely get him out of the box and prop him up on the shelf.  We haven't even read the book yet this year and she wants me to literally roll out a red carpet for him.  When does she do laundry?  When does she work?  And most importantly, when does she sleep?

20.  Make faces on school pictures with a marker.

I lecture my children constantly on appropriate materials to write on with markers.  A photograph is not one of those things.  It would take years to undo that damage if I did that.  I'd have mustaches on every photograph in my home.  "The Elf did it!"

24.  Read a book.

Yeah, I tried that one on my own the other day (didn't even need Blossom's help to come up with that one). The Hubs didn't see him on the couch reading and he sat on him.  Kids couldn't find him because he wasn't on his usual shelf.  So much for trying to think outside the box...shelf.

32.  Switch clothes from one closet to another.

And I do this when?  4 AM when everyone is asleep and I'm hauling dresses and jeans from one room to another?  And we're assuming my children would even NOTICE I did this.

42.  Take picture of child sleeping.

This is one I would do just to scare the snot out of them.  I'd like to perch the Elf right on their sleeping heads and take a picture of that.  I could probably whip that picture out in the summer when they're being bad and it would scare them enough to knock it off.  I'll bookmark that one.

44.  Knit a scarf or hat.

When I'm not trashing my house with feathers, flour or drawing on the walls I'll whip up a handmade hat, Psycho.

64.  Learn multiplication facts.

Huh?  Just set him on the table with flashcards?  I guess I could do that, but it sounds as boring as my shelf.

80.  Elf packs school lunches but mixes up everyone's lunches.  (Each child receives sibling's lunch - great conversation piece at dinner.)

Or source of meltdown at school - you pick.

93.  Sit on toilet OUTSIDE on front lawn - if you happen to have an extra toilet being stored.

WTF?  Who has an "extra" toilet they can put in the yard?  Either she's grasping at straws to get to 101 or she's white trash.

He's called The Elf on the Shelf, not the Elf who Skydives, Takes Bubble Baths and Shaves the Dog!  Leave him on the shelf so the rest of us slackers don't look so bad.  I think I'm just going to lay my Elf on his shelf, tape wires and hoses to him and tell my kids he's in a coma and hopefully he'll recover before Christmas.  That should give me some flexibility.

Friday, December 16, 2011

My Friday Fancies

Friday Fancies-Sparkle


Today is my first time linking up with A Long Distance Love for My Friday Fancies.
Natasha from Schue Love actually got me started on the Polyvore kick.
And I must say, I am completely and totally obsessed.
And if you are looking for classy, pure perfection of outfits go right now over to her Friday Fancies.
You will not want to miss out on her creations.
They are truly amazing.
 
This is probably the most fun link up I have participated in to date.
If you have a love for fashion like I do, then you must go check out this link up.
It is a must for us fashionistas.
Seriously there is some amazing pretties.

This week is all about sparkle!
Who doesn't love sparkle??!!
I have totally jumped on the sparkly bandwagon and totally want something sparkly for my 30th birthday.
Don't worry a birthday suit (with actual clothes) will be posted shortly.
I am thinking of a sparkly dress of skirt.
So, tell me, what do you think of the new fun sparkle trend?
It totally got me.
This girl loves some sparkle in her life!