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Friday, September 16, 2011

Let Me Be Real With Ya

I want to give 100% to my marriage, my family, God, my job, etc.
I strive to do my best in all aspects of my life.
But boy is that all a huge job in itself!

Let me be real because I do not give 100%, I get home from work and am stinking exhausted.
Exhausted because I didn't get enough sleep (I need about 9-10 hours to feel my best and function appropriately), exhausted because I woke up at 6:00 AM to start my day, exhausted because I am not mentally all there for my job, exhausted from working a full day, and exhausted from my guilt.

I want to pop right out of bed and get my day started, drop off C at day care, go to work and love every second of it and more importantly to me, have the time and energy for my family.
I want to come home from work and play with C, cook him a nice and healthy dinner, then cook the husband and myself a nice meal, clean up the kitchen and then start on household chores.

But do I do this?
Not really.

I do try and make an effort to play with C and be there for him because I think he deserves it, deserves my attention and love. He gets semi healthy meals with some Einstein watching.
But the problem is...My husband deserves my attention too.

Look at my sweet family, don't they look like they deserve all of me. Not just what I feel like giving that day.
Image via Cannonfire Photography

I want to cook a healthy and gourmet meal for him because I know he loves that.
But I am just so tired and really don't feel like it.  

I want to have the house clean for the most part and still have time for my husband and even things I like to do, like blog for example. How do people get all this done when they get off work? Is it because I go to bed early, between 9-10 and other people stay up later to make all this possible? That is the only thinking I can think of, of why I can seem to get everything done.

Please help me girls and tell me how you "do it all" because this girl is struggling.


the workaholic momma said...

YES...that is an adorable family:)

I struggle with this too and I don't think there is an easy answer.

I have someone come clean for me every other week..i could not for the life of me keep up with my itty bitty house before addie and certainly cannot now. I also try to do a load of laundry a day to keep it from piling up and meal planning (lots in the crock pot so it can cook while im at work) has been my saving grace (time wise and money wise - its so much easier to eat out but that adds up quick:))

I'm not anywhere near perfect...or even great at this but I feel like I'm treading water.

Baby Shopaholic said...

I don't know how us moms do it. (I am planing the see that movie) I sacrifice sleep, cleaning and cooking. I was just talking about how I need to find healthier options, instead of chicken nuggets!

From the time I get P after work 5:30 to 8pm is her time. But I don't go to bed until midnight to spend time with hub and get on comp.

Lindsey said...

I would have to say that I really had to learn how to balance everything when I was working full-time, attending grad school online, and taking care of Connor and Adam.

Whatever bugs you the most, make that a priority first. Get into that habit of making it a priority and it will soon become second nature.

Then add another item to it. Focus on both items that are now your priority, and so on.

Honestly, since both Adam and I work, we BOTH contribute to the cleaning and laundry. I don't harp on him about it. He does his laundry when he has no more clean pairs of boxer and He knows to clean the bathroom and dust the house once he seems me stripping the beds and cleaning floors. It may take him a day or two later to clean it, but I don't mind. One less thing I have to worry about completing during the week!

Maybe make a schedule?

Mondays are my croc pot days. A meal goes into the croc pot and ready for us when we get home. Mondays suck anyway so this helps out.

Tuesday is a random day. Nothing planned so I can tie up loose ends for the week.

Wednesday is cleaning day. I come home, vacuum, mop floors, before I make dinner. Connor usually eats before us since he has a milk-free diet and doesn't eat what we eat.

Thursday is another random day of tieing up loose ends before the weekend. Great TV night so I don't plan for much to happen that evening ;)

Friday morning I strip Connor's bed and have his laundry ready to go for when we come home. I want to wash his blanket as soon as he comes home from daycare for the week so his laundry and my laundry gets done Friday evening. I keep all of our laundry separate, which makes it easier to wash and fold without having separate.

Saturday and Sunday are family days. I will do random loads of laundry- towels, sheets, etc. during Connor's naps on the weekends. I also grocery shop on Saturday mornings for the week. I also make a menu for the week so there is no need to spend a half hour figuring out what we are going to have for dinner. The menu is on the fridge, the ingredients have all been bought, it just needs to be cooked. And if I am lucky? Adam starts the meal without me asking because he knows as well what needs to be cooked. I also pull the recipes for the week and put them on a clip by the stove so if he doesn't know how to make it from scratch, he can just follow the recipe.

Maybe this helps, maybe not? Just don't beat yourself up about it all. It is not worth it. But small changes can really help!

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

It's hard and I struggle with it everyday. I finally gave up trying to have family dinners. At least until Jamie starts staying up later. But right now, with his 730ish bedtime, my husband not getting home until 630 most nights and J being ready to eat the minute we walk in the door around 545. Not gonna happen.

So I feed him. Play with him. Give him is bath. By the time he's off to bed, the dinner I started cooking while he was eating is now ready for the hubs and I to eat.

I also try to do a load of laundry every night or other night. It makes it feel like I'm doing it all.the.time, but at least I'm not wasting the entire weekend doing it all at once.

Ali Thompson said...

I'm not a mom, so I have it MUCH easier...but I can identify with the sleep thing. I used to feel I needed 9-10 hours of sleep to function too. What I realized is that my body just needed more sleep because I didn't have a regular schedule. So lately I've been sleeping 11-7 and the 8 hours is enough! The trick is sticking to my schedule even on weekends. AND from 10-11, I don't allow myself any TV or computer. This no-screen time before bed has really helped my quality of sleep. I dunno if all that's an option when you have a kid, probably not, but it's worth a shot.

That said, even without a kid I'm still exhausted after work, I mostly do the cleaning on the weekends. If I do it first thing Saturday morning, I still feel like I have a weekend ahead of me.

natasha {schue love} said...

I don't have kids {yet!} but I can relate. Sometimes I feel like life just takes over and I don't get to slow down and just enjoy. I wonder if we ever get to a point in life where you wake up and just take it all in. I think most people experience what you're feeling to some extent! You're doing great and need to let yourself be ok with where you're at. You'll get there! xo

Kristen Thornburg said...

LOVE the name of yoru blog!!!!

lg2006 said...

True.That, Every day I make a list but i just mainly have ONE priority that I make myself do if nothing else gets done! Depends on what has been neglected the longest, IE cook a good meal...
but i never check all the boxes and have perfect days!