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Monday, July 16, 2012

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

My C has been with the same child care provider since he has 8 weeks old.
That is around...
 96 weeks
480 days
21,600 hours.
Approximately of course.

As a family we decided it would be in C's best interest to move to a school setting.
After several meltdowns and crying fests from this Mama, I was on board.
I knew it was exactly what he needs but convincing me that he is growing up is hard.
Hard on me.
He needs the social interaction, the attention, the learning.

As we love our day care lady I never expected "breaking up" with her would be so hard.
I remember giving myself the "pep talk" driving to drop C off.
I told myself I would hand her the letter and then explain.
As I walk in, I put C down, hand her the letter and then...
I start bawling like a baby.
I couldn't stop.
I could barely speak and get out what I needed to tell her.
This was harder than I thought.
I never imagined myself getting so emotional.
But there I was crying in her living room.

I felt so guilty,
like I was betraying her.
Is this a normal feeling?
Maybe?
In my heart of hearts I know this is the best thing for C.
But it's hard,
she has taken such good care of him and he loves her.

I have so many concerns,
what if he doesn't transition well?
What if the new people at the school don't take as good of care of him?
What if he refuses to nap and is tired all the time?
What if he doesn't like the food they give him?
What if he doesn't like it?
What if I don't like it?
Have you ever broken up with a child care provider?
How did everyone cope?

This parenting stuff is rough.
My heart is in a constant struggle
from wanting to keep C a little baby vs. doing what is right for him and his development.
I hate that he is growing up so fast.
But boy is he turning out to be such a fun, smart little guy.

5 comments:

Jillian Vanover said...

Good luck, momma!! We decided to take our littles out of daycare completely once ibwas able to manipulate my schedule around at work so I could stay home with them. G was just shy of 2 and J was just shy of 1. I was a total mess, too! I don't think it's abnormal....you've built a lovig, trusting relationship with them over time. We still go by and visit :).

applesandglue said...

Aw good luck to you! Not being a mom, I can only imagine how hard it must be to trust your child to someone else... But having worked in a daycare before I know how wonderful people can be, and how much they love being around children and take the responsibility seriously (I sure did!)

Jenni Taylor said...

My son was with a family friend from the time he was 3 months old up until a few months ago (He's now 2). I was offered another job and had to change to daycare. I was crying the whole way to drop him off the morning I told her, it was incredibly hard. I was so worried that the new place wouldn't take care of him the way that my friend did, or even worse that he would get beat up by a bigger kid, or not make any friends and hate the new place. I knew I made the right decision when the week after he started the new school he lined up his toy trucks and counted all 10 of them (before he would just count to 3, always forgetting 1)! We still keep in touch with our friend and he always asks about her and wants to look at her pictures on facebook. It was super hard at first and many tears were shed in the process of switching daycares but I know now that it was the right decision and he is so happy being around other kids his age and he is learning so much! =)

Apryl Kilgo said...

I've been reading your blog for a few months now and I am struggling with this decision also. My oldest son is 3 and I know he needs interaction with other kids, but my youngest is 8 months and I'm not ready to expose him to all the germs in daycare. My oldest has been with our current lady for 2 years now and she's the only person he remembers taking care of him. He calls her Nana and is very attached to her. I don't want to have one going to one place and one going to another, but I am just so scared of leaving her and taking them both to daycare. I have been battling with this for at least six months now.

the workaholic momma said...

oohh goodness...that does not sound easy:( But remember momma knows best and I'm sure Colby's current care-taker understands that what you are looking for is not something she can provide. Hugs, friend!!