The Bathroom wants to be your friend.
This is the only place where you can get away with doing nothing but sit for an hour.
In total silence, that is unless you are Mommy.
Your Father can help you learn the ropes when it comes to disappearing on hours on end
and coming out and acting like hours just did not pass.
It's like a Man's rite of passage.
It's actually a gift I think.
Now, I don't want you to grow up too quickly, no, I really don't.
But you are 2.5 and are not even on your way to using The Shitter.
Please, please, just sit on the ever loving thing will ya.
That is step one and I don't think that is too much to ask.
You have a small floor potty and a potty seat to use over the big potty.
Just think, you wont have to walk around with pee in your pants anymore.
That must feel so relieving.
And don't take Billy Madison's word for it, all the cool kids are not doing it.
Peeing your pants is not cool.
I keep having to tell myself you wont go off to college peeing your pants.
But now that you are in school seeing all your friends use the potty wont you please be a follower.
For this one time in your precious little life.
Do what the other kids are doing.
And not the ones peeing their pants.
I am starting to think that all the pants pee-ers are hanging out together like in a gang.
And I think you are the head honcho of the gang.
This must stop.
Please sit and at least put one tiny droplet of pee in the potty for your mom.
If you do, there are M&M's, suckers, stickers, ice cream, staying up late, a new car, whatever you want involved.
Think, you will be driving up to school in your brand new car, your other gang followers will think you are sooooo cool.
So, please, sleep on it, not the pee that is, this letter and get back to me on your decision.