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Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Mama Memoirs

Today I am linking up with pretty Mama, Mandy, 
from A Sorta Fairy Tale Blog
for the mama memoirs.
And here is a letter to my sweet face.
Dear C,
It's called a Potty.
Or if you would like to use that ever creative mind of yours, 
Toilet, John, Loo, Can, Throne, Crapper, The Office.
I could care less what you call it, even though some of the above words are a little less 
appropriate for a small kiddo like yourself. 
But again, I really don't care, 
call it The Shitter for all I care. 
Mommy just wants you to use the darn thing.

The Bathroom wants to be your friend.
This is the only place where you can get away with doing nothing but sit for an hour.
In total silence, that is unless you are Mommy.
Your Father can help you learn the ropes when it comes to disappearing on hours on end
and coming out and acting like hours just did not pass. 
It's like a Man's rite of passage.
It's actually a gift I think.

Now, I don't want you to grow up too quickly, no, I really don't. 
But you are 2.5 and are not even on your way to using The Shitter.
Please, please, just sit on the ever loving thing will ya.
That is step one and I don't think that is too much to ask.
You have a small floor potty and a potty seat to use over the big potty.
Pick one.

Just think, you wont have to walk around with pee in your pants anymore.
That must feel so relieving.
And don't take Billy Madison's word for it, all the cool kids are not doing it.
Peeing your pants is not cool.

I keep having to tell myself you wont go off to college peeing your pants.
But now that you are in school seeing all your friends use the potty wont you please be a follower.
For this one time in your precious little life.
Do what the other kids are doing.
And not the ones peeing their pants.

I am starting to think that all the pants pee-ers are hanging out together like in a gang.
And I think you are the head honcho of the gang.
This must stop.

Please sit and at least put one tiny droplet of pee in the potty for your mom.
If you do, there are M&M's, suckers, stickers, ice cream, staying up late, a new car, whatever you want involved.
Think, you will be driving up to school in your brand new car, your other gang followers will think you are sooooo cool. 

So, please, sleep on it, not the pee that is, this letter and get back to me on your decision.

Love, Mommy


Karen said...

I felt this way with my daughter. I offered her the world and she could have cared less. Good luck!

Love, Chelsea said...

My kid will be 3 next month and we still aren't using the potty. All in good time (NOW! I hope ;))

Southern Wifey said...

this post just made me pee in my pants a little from laughing (just kidding, about the pee that is, not the laughing)
good luck with potty training, just know there is an end in sight!
the sweet life of a southern wife

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

HA HA! I love this! And I can SO relate! :-)

Jenn said...

I feel your pain. I will say most boys I know didn't really "get it" until 3. We tried at 2.5 and after much fighting decided to wait. We tried again at 3 and he was completely trained in a week! Good luck and I just love the pic. Double undies!

Amanda M. said...

I've had the pleasure of potty-training 3 kids. And by pleasure, I mean complete torture!! :) All 3 were completely and totally different from each other. One required time {age 3 and a half!} and stickers. One required chocolate. The other? All he needed was the incentive of keeping up with his sister! {He pretty much potty-trained himself at 2 and a half} It'll happen...when he's ready! :)

Alexandra said...

My favorite part? "Sleep on it, not the pee of course" Heheh, that made my day. We are doing the potty training at our place too! I got some luck though, mine does go to the toilet, b~ut he also has about half a million accidents (or at least that's what it feels like).

Valerie Scott said...

My son is only 15 months old but I can say I am dreading potty training already. Hope it gets better. Your son is adorable and congrats on baby #2, I am new here from Mama Memoirs link up. I am looking forward to reading more about you and your family.

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

I'm right there with you, mama. Bennett and Colby must be a part of the same club. Stubborn little boys I tell ya.

Laura Railing said...

Omg... Love this. You really should print it and give it as blackmail someday. :) Kids can sure drive one to absolute craziness! And this is totally one area! He will get it someday!! Promise!!! (It might be the day before he heads off to highschool , but hey he'll get it!)

Emily Peck said...

haha, i LOVE THIS! i'm in the same boat as you! unfortunately, my son is 3 years, 4 months!! it's getting a little out of control! :O