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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Arsenal


I have an arsenal.
I keep it tucked away so the Tot can't get into it.
These secret weapons are dangerous and I don't want them getting into the wrong hands.

Do you want to know where I keep them?
If I told you, I would have to kill you.
But I can let you in on a little secret.
They arsenal is kept in the kitchen somewhere at the highest possible point.
It is tucked way back so the weapons aren't easily triggered.

Now, one might think that I am actually taking about real weapons,
like guns, knives, and whatever else there is.
But I'm not.
Im talking about secret weapons to use when my Tot is bored, or acting up and I need a quick fix.

My arsenal consists of 
Lollipops (a.k.a. suck-a's), M&M's, Fruit Snacks, 
Pez of all characters, 
and really any type of candy you can think of.

I am not ashamed.
I do what human nature calls for.
It's called Survival Of The Fittest.
Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Sometimes I pull out the arsenal for good behavior,
bribery, and quite time.
The Tot sure doesn't mind and wonders where where all these goodies come from.
They just appear out of thin air but he doesn't ask questions he just snatches the suck-a right from my hand and says "Thank You Mommy".
At least the kid has manners when he is being bribed.

So, tell me Mama's,
do you have an arsenal?
What is in yours?

I'm linking up with Mandy from A Sorta Fairy Tale for The Mama Memoirs.

4 comments:

Shannon Dew said...

hahahaha! so cute! We have a stash too but sadly she knows it and knows where it is!

Kiara Buechler said...

My arsenal is PBS Kids. Handing my son the tablet and letting him choose which show to watch or game to play guarantees me at least 20 minutes to do what I need to do.

Michelle SandandTable said...

I have a drawer of all those tacky, plasticky, cartoony, probably toxic toys that are generally banned around here, save for those desperate moments when not having them would be worse for everyone!

Christene @ MommaBird said...

My arsenal is his iPhone... yes his own. It's one of our older ones and we cleaned it up so it can just play games and it guarantees me enough time to get things done, like make dinner.