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Thursday, May 2, 2013

Up Until Nap Time...

This is my take on what life with two kids will be like....
up until nap time at least...

Yes, that is you.
You now have given birth to two children,
you are officially, officially a responsible adult.
Not sure what you were thinking, but it's here and you did it.
Remember they are the best things that have ever happened to you.
And yes, you mean that.

There is no crying in this parenting game.
You get up, you parade around the house singing the Wiggles "Fruit Salad" to the toddler so he eats his breakfast and most importantly his...fruit, and then you go to the nursery and sing "You Are My Sunshine" to your sweet little newborn while it is eating breakfast.
Don't forget to check on the Tot because who knows what he is getting into these days.
After the sing songs are all out, breakfast is all eaten, 
it is time to stare the day straight in the face.
Get your booty showered, or not, get dressed, throw on some makeup,
diaper the kids, change their clothes and then do something productive.
It is not acceptable to keep your kiddos in the jammies all day everyday.
And although yoga pants and your pre-pregnancy (the 1st go around) beer crawl shirt is very comfortable, totally not ok to go out of the house in.
You have two kids now for crying out loud. 
You need to learn to get your ish together. 
Now, after everyone is all dressed, some tantrums thrown, cereal spilled, baby just had an explosion (new outfit), Tot threw his matchbox car in the toilet (because fishing in the toilet is exactly what you wanted to do today),
and dog barking his head off for no reason, you may just want to call it a day and stay home.
No, no Ma'am. 
Grab your coffee and get charged up lady because its going to be a long day.

Pack up their whole house.
Snacks and juice for the Tot,
a million toys plus the coveted iPad to prevent any and all unnecessary meltdowns,
and hit the road.
Oh wait,
the baby.
Pack their bottles, blankets, bibs, binks, diapers, wipes, creams, and every just in case item and throw it into that expensive and nonsensical diaper bag you just had to have.
Now, now, you are ready to hit the road.

Where are you even going to do?
You don't know?
You just needed to get out of the house.
And yes it was worth it.
You can now breathe fresh air and think they may even be silent at the same time so you can think.
Think about what's for dinner.
At this point you really don't care if everyone just starves because you are now into survival mode after the morning kicking your butt.

I am a parent and I need to enrich these children of mines lives.
Off to do something educational.
The park!!!
The Tot will run like the wind and tire himself out and then later you will get to nap with your sweet newborn.
And the park can be educational....right?
I mean colors, shapes, blah blah blah.
To the park we all go.

The park is now a success, we are back home to all in unison take NAPS!!!
What you have been waiting for since your feet his the floor this morning.
The Tot goes right to sleep because he chugged around the playground all morning acting like he was Thomas The Tank Engine and just lost all his steam.
I am so winning this nap time thing!
But now the itty bitty baby is wide awake and wants to play.
Sh** Moth* E****,
all I wand to do is SLEEP.
Is that too much to ask.
T-minus one hour and the Tot will be up making his demands at me
and yelling telling me "MOMMMMYYYY ICCCCE CREAM",
(and keep in mind that you dont give in to these crazy demands because he normally doesn't even get these things, dont' give in)
Finally, the baby goes to sleep on your after you have sung it every song you know, 
your face hurts from smiling so much and you have ran out of breast milk.
Now you are stuck and have no reason but to fall asleep because he the babe is now on top of you.
This isn't so bad.
Until you swear you clothes your eye and hear the Tot whispering from his room
"Mommy? Mommy, where are you?"
Insert profanities here....
But you are up and make "the transfer" from you to the crib.
Happy Mommy Dance!
The Tot is now up and you can at least spend some one on one time with him.
You think to yourself.
Wow this was so much easier with just one and you miss that time dearly with just one.
You reflect back on all the memories of just the two of you and then start to cry.
He really is the apple of your eye.
He makes your most tired and cranky days all that much better when he laughs.
You made him with your loving husband and then look up and say "Thank You God".

Now for that sweet little babe in the other room,
it will soon be your little love.
Your last baby that you wont want to let go.
There is no crying in this parenting game,
but their are tears of joy and thankfulness.
These kids really are the purpose to your life.
After all the craziness to your day is done and naps or no naps,
they are amazing and you love them unconditionally.

I am linking up with Mandy from A Sorta Fairy Tale for The Mama Memoirs.


Ashley said...

Oh man this is the truth. We don't venture out alone often I'm just not that comfortable leaving for the park solo just yet. Once the new baby is a smidge older it'll be easier.

Christene @ MommaBird said...

Just the thought of packing up enough supplies to take TWO little people out is giving me hives. Great post and so honest it hurts.

Unknown said...

I had the hardest transistion from one kid to two!!! I remember when my son was born, I didn't leave the house for two weeks- even to check the mail! When I had the third, though, it was old hat...weird that three was easier than two?! Popping in from the link up! :)