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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

A Case Of The...

On about week 5 of my maternity leave, I thought I was getting the hang of this whole parenting thing. Parenting with two was suddenly becoming a bit easier.
Dumb thought.
Ever heard of Murphy’s Law?
Once you think you have mastered this lovely thing called Parenting, it comes and slaps you in the face. Why haven’t I learned this by now?
I like to call Week 5, “The Shit Fest”.
The shits hit our house like a volcano spewing lava.
You get the picture.
We were no longer The Enlow’s, we were the ShitLow’s.
On and off the potty, the bathroom became a revolving door.
Our house wafted with the smells of poo, like we lived in a sewer.
And the best part of Shit Fest was I was flying solo. Daddy was out of town for work.
I was armed in my hazmat suit, soap, hand sanitizer, Pull Ups, Pedialite, and enough encouraging words and hugs to go around to a small town.
My poor C felt like junk and I just wanted to make him feel better.
Luckily my baby boss did not catch it so I could try to focus on his smelly brother.
My Life Planner was filled with bullet points which included errands and chores to be done, the house was a wreck since technically I was not given “the go” from the doctors to do any heavy lifting or vacuuming just yet but this week I was going to do it all, I had to, my OCD was kicking in.
Little did I know Week 5, that you would come at me so hard and smelly. I did not get a single thing done on my list.
What we did get done, we all still standing, or well maybe sitting, on the potty that is.
The whole house may have smelled like butt and Austin’s diaper genie was filled with brown Pull Ups,  and my hands were raw from all the hand washing, but we were alive and medicated.

After my experience with dealing with the poops for a couple of days I do have some tips for ya.

  • Keep Pedialite stocked in your house. You never know when you will need it and be stranded in your house unable to get to the store. Same goes for Tylenol.
  • Even if your child is potty trained have some Pull Ups handy. This poop-capades was rather runny and you just can't hold it in. You will be constantly washing underpants so might as well have something you can throw away.
  • Keep your child hydrated. Very important. Probably the most important tip to remember. 
  • Have patience with your child. They can't help it and are completely miserable.
  • Bring your phone or something to do with you. You will be in the bathroom for a while.
  • Disinfect, disinfect, disinfect. I went through a whole huge container of the Lysol wipes in a week. I even wiped the bathroom down after he seemed to be done having the poops because you never know when germs are lingering. 
  • Again, even if your child doesn't use sippy cups anyone it may be a good idea to keep one as a back up. C was grounded to the couch and all he wanted to do was watch TV and lay down with his blanket so a cup was not really going to work out if I wanted to keep him hydrated. A sippy cup was his best friend this whole experience and one less mess that I had to clean up.

So here is to you Week 5. You kicked my ass. You won. Now please let me enjoy the rest of my maternity leave Shit free.


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