Oh Brother

When you are pregnant with your second little love you think about how your original baby will react to the newest addition to the family. You dream of the day when they will first meet. You envision exactly how the official meeting of the brothers will go. 

I spent hours dwelling over this exact moment. I did some reading on what to do when the new baby arrives, how to treat big brother and make him feel special. I read big brother books to the impending big brother so he had an idea of what was coming. I constantly worried about how he would feel and handle his mommy not being at his beckon call. It made me sad. I couldn't imagine that my baby was no longer my baby. It was all heartbreaking to me. 

But life as we know it, never seems to go how we plan. I had this grandiose idea how they would instantaneously be best friends. There would be lots of hugging, sweet kisses and cuddles with big brother showing him all his cool big boy Batman's and race cars. Big bro would want to hold him on his lap, feed him his bottle, and wheel him around in his bike basket. He would want to touch his face and squeeze him until his guts fell out. I was ready for it. Ready for it all because this is what big brothers do. Its part of the initiation into brotherhood.

Or so I thought. None of this happened. Not a single one of those things. The first hospital visit was a whirlwind. There were at least 7 people in our little hospital room at a time. Big brother thought all the people were there to see him. He thought it was a little party starring Colby and Nanna, Granddaddy, Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Nic were all invited to his party. I think he looked at his new little brother once, and it was a quick glance when he ran by in a flash to go retrieve his new car that he was playing with on the floor. 

We decided that the hospital didn't really count as the official meeting. It was too busy there, big brother was out of his routine with us being gone and there were too many people around. So, once we were all settled in back home we walked up to him while he was on the couch and tried to place his sweet little brother in his arms with some simple instructions. Be still and dont drop him. Faster than I can say "Prestige Worldwide" he was off the couch and my eardrums were bleeding. He wanted nothing to do with that thing we were trying to give him. 

We kept at big brother. We tried a couple more times to get him to hold him with no luck. We asked why he didn't want to hold him with the hilarious responses of "he's too heavy" and "im too big". My mama heart began to sink. This is not what I pictured. In fact, I have never even heard of such a thing. All my mama friends kids were into their siblings. They posted the sweetest Instgram pics of the two holding each other and gazing into each others eyes, with captions of "they just love each other" "sisterly love" and "be still my heart". They even told some of the funniest stories of how the oldest would try to drag around the innocent baby like a babydoll, stacking pillows on top of the baby because he needed to be comfy and covering the babies face with blankets because he was cold. Their bond was instant. 

I'm sitting over here just trying to get my kid to even look at his little brother. No bond here. Nothing.

Here I am, 4 months after sweet baby Austin has been born with only a total of 3 holds under 20 seconds and about 7 kisses on the cheek on the record. All of the above stats were solely on bribes. He has absolutely no interest in his brother. But you know what? I have finally come to the realization that it is ok. They have the rest of their lives to bond, to tackle each other, beat each other up, brake bones together, sneak out, and basically make my calm life as I know it disappear. I will be yearning for these nondramatic days. 

So big bro, whenever you are ready to meet your brother, he will be in his room doing his homework. Don't be surprised when he sucker punches you in the face for not speaking to him for 5 years.